Mhm. Unfortunately, I had to break up with him just now recently (like two days ago) and he was already so down.. I knew the break up would affect him, and I was willing to stay around and be his friend. He is one of my best friends and I would never let go of someone even if our friendship would be different than before.

But I went to bed, and woke up to a note from him, and now I’m scared shitless, because he sounded so convinced that he didn’t deserve to be alive. I didn’t want to believe it, and hopefully he’s okay.. But I still feel sick.. and guilty.. feel like I’m gonna throw up or something ugh.