Ugh, I’m sorry about all the damn complaining nowadays I really am, but I’m just so tired and light headed and this is the only place where I feel like I can be myself and have nothing to think about with so many fantastic people. This fandom really is amazing and I am so happy I’m here once again.

I just.. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this. I’m in so much pain every day, I can barely walk anymore. I’m sad, but I can’t cry. All I can do is think about how messed up I am and feel like I deserve it.

I guess I do.